The Gun, the Smoke and the Neko
by Boss Dumpling
Summary: Alrighty! I have a good summary now! Vash is back. Knives is back. Wolfwood is gonna come back eventually. And hey! Who's the bounty babe? Is she the love of Vash's life? gAsP! XD Anyways... I kinda changed the coupling, mmkay?
1. Return of the Stampede

Author's Note: I present to you, the precursor to story rewrites. I just thought there wasn't enough depth so yeah…I added LOTSA stuff. Deal with it. XP I personally think this is better since it gives more into the story and, yeah…of course, I altered some things and you should expect that in these upcoming rewrites. HOWEVER, I will be keeping the same ideas and concepts from the originally posted chapters…I am reading them and keeping certain parts. So please…enjoy.

Disclaimer: Ah yes…I don't own Trigun. It's a masterpiece. Not my masterpiece. It's just my inspiration for things to come… Don't sue me. Don't screw me. Just love me. Praise me… And read my damn story. X3

Chapter One: Return of the Stampede

Version 2.0

It was an average day. It was an average, boring day for Meryl Stryfe of the Bernardelli Insurance Agency. Well, Meryl Stryfe formerly of the Bernardelli Insurance Agency. It had been a good seven months since the end of the chaos created by Millions Knives, Legato Bluesummers, and the Gung-Ho Guns. Who was to thank? The former sixty million double-dollar bounty Vash the Stampede, who defeated his twin brother and protected the human race from utmost destruction. Meryl remembered like it was yesterday when Vash returned to the city with his unconscious brother. The two talked for a bit and eventually, Meryl, Millie, and Vash headed for dinner to celebrate with the rest of the town. Vash's friends and former enemies also joined in on the fun and they partied for days, the plant angel becoming too drunk for his own good, as well as getting sick off of the constant devouring of doughnuts. The partied lasted for a week: all the people of Planet Gunsmoke had come together, surprisingly, and were celebrating with the person who that all wrongly accused and hated not too long ago. The people knew peace.

The Insurance Girls knew peace until Vash broke the news down to them. Though Knives was recovering at a quick rate, the wounds that he had inflicted upon him were critical and needed to be taken care of. Vash discovered that the wounds were not healing correctly and he had cracked a few bones and destroyed some vital arteries and veins. He would have to take his brother to his old friend, a doctor, who would see to it that Knives had the right treatment. Despite Meryl's constant protests, Vash's mutual love for his twin brother and his loving nature caused him to leave the girls anyway. He left. He glanced back at them once before climbing onto the bus with Knives over his shoulder. The plant angel was gone.

Meryl sighed at the memory and shook her head as she continued washing the dishes from that morning's breakfast. The Insurance Agency, having now lost track of Vash the Stampede and now Millions Knives, had Meryl and Millie back at the base doing office work. That's when the unbelievable happened: Millie was pregnant. With this new news, word got around the office and rumors began to start about the tall brunette as to who the father might be. With her heart still belonging to the lost Nicholas D. Wolfwood, Millie decided to resign from the agency to prevent further anguish and moved to a Tomas Ranch her family owed. As her best friend, Meryl also resigned and accompanied Millie to the ranch so that she would not be alone. The two moved there four months ago.

The thought of the rumors caused Meryl to scrub the plate in her hand harder as she gritted her teeth. She just wanted to take out her derringers and shoot every single person in that office for thinking such horrible things of Millie. Wolfwood, though not the best man, would have made a great husband and father. The dark-haired woman closed her eyes and exhaled softly before resuming the dishwashing as Millie entered the kitchen. Meryl looked over her shoulder at the brunette before smiling at her, receiving a smile in return.

"So, how's the mother?" the dark-haired woman asked, this causing Millie's smile to broaden.

"She's doing great! The baby Tomas came out just fine! He's good and healthy and—" Millie was cut off when something caught her eye as she suddenly looked out the window. Meryl blinked, and then furrowed her eyebrows. "What is it, Millie?" The pregnant brunette made her way towards the window before pointing in the distance at a gleaming light.

"What is that, Meryl?" The dark-haired woman frowned as she rinsed off her hands before drying them off with a dishtowel. She then grabbed Millie's stun gun, which was lying against the wall nearby.

"I don't know but I'm gonna find out—you stay here." As she headed for the door, the taller woman grabbed her shoulder and frowned. Meryl sighed before smiling. "Millie, I don't want anything to happen to you or the baby." A smile made its way onto the brunette's face.

"Don't worry, Meryl! I'll be fine!" The shorter woman sighed and only nodded. "If you say so. Well then, let's go." With that, the two headed out the back door and towards the shining light at the top of the sandy hill in the distance.

Once they had reached the bottom of the hill, Meryl gestured for Millie to stand behind her while she cocked the stun gun. The short woman narrowed her eyes and readied her finger on the trigger. "Hey! Who the hell are you?" Apparently, the light was coming from a man who was carrying another being on his shoulder. His hair was long, reaching his shoulders, and it was a gold shade of blonde. Over his eyes, he was wearing a pair of round Lennon glasses with yellow lenses while a light beard was visible as it stretched along his chin from ear to ear. He was wearing a white shirt that was unbuttoned at the top. The shirt was tucked into his brown slacks, which were held up by suspenders. He wore matching leather boots that extended up to his knees. The person on his shoulder was wearing the same clothing except his shirt was a deep shade of maroon. His hair was more of a platinum blonde and it fell over his face as his head hung low.

Meryl was getting irritated with the man as he continued to slowly approach her and Millie. She aimed the barrel of the stun gun at his head. "I asked you a question, damn it! Answer me!" Millie squeezed Meryl's shoulders as she watched the man reached for the holster on his hip before grabbing the handle of his gun. Both women became greatly nervous as he slowly lifted the gun from its holster. That is, until Millie identified the gun: "That's a .45 Long Colt!" Meryl frowned at Millie and prepared to rebuttal until she examined the gun herself.

"It…it is! It's Vash's gun!" she exclaimed, this causing the blonde stranger to holster the weapon as a grin slowly snaked across his face. He tilted his head up so that one could see through his lenses and see his eyes as he held up his hand and straightened his fingers. The grin became goofy as his light green eyes became soft before he spoke in an odd voice: "Hello?"

Millie released Meryl's shoulders and did the same thing with her hand before giggling as she replied. "Hello!" The short woman smiled as she felt the tears jerking within her as she slowly approached the man before wrapping her arms around him and hugging him.

"Vash…you're back," she whispered. Vash smiled and hugged her with one arm as he nodded. "Yep…I sure am. And I'm guaranteed to stay." He rubbed Meryl's head, then looked up at Millie as his goofiness returned.

"It took me a long time finding out where you two were! Ya might if I crash here for a while?" he asked. Millie smiled and shook her head. "Of course I don't mind, Mr. Vash! It's good to have you back!" Vash nodded with a smile, then headed towards the house with the women. That's when he halted in his steps, causing Meryl and Millie to look at him.

"What is it, Vash?" the dark-haired woman asked. The blonde's eyes were widened and his mouth hung open. He then pointed at Millie. "She's PREGNANT?" Millie giggled sheepishly and lowered her head as her cheeks turned a moderate shade of pink. Indeed, the friends had much catching up to do.


	2. The Perfect Type

"Knives is alive?! You let him live?!" Meryl exclaimed, staring at the unconscious platinum blonde on her bed. Vash laughed sheepishly, then looked at the plant.  
"Well, he's my brother. Besides, I only killed once and I don't plan on ever doing it again."  
"But. but what if he-"  
"He's a Cyborg now and he's deactivated since he isn't programmed yet," Vash explained before pausing to think, "Or. is he activated and programmed.?"  
"Activated? Programmed? Programmed to do what?"  
"He's not programmed to do anything."  
"What?!"  
"He's programmed not to do things. Knives can no longer hate or kill humans. or me. Otherwise, he's going to be a whole new guy."  
"I can't believe you. Knives is worth $$100 billion!"  
"I'll have to figure something out in his defense."  
"Figure out what in my defense?" a slightly scratchy voice murmured, causing Vash and Meryl to look down. To their surprise (more of Meryl's horror), Knives was up in bed, looking at the two of them.  
"Knives!" the Humanoid Typhoon called out, smiling at his brother. The twin grunted, then ran a hand through his hair.  
"Damnit. why the hell do I have all this hair? And I feel.odd." Knives glared at his brother. "Why didn't you kill me?"  
"You're my brother, and you know my policy! Anyway. you were kinda hurt really bad so I got you turned you into a Cyborg." Vash grabbed his brother, then started shaking him. "Is that okay?!"  
Knives growled, then pushed him away. He then looked at his hands before wiggling his fingers.  
"I guess it's a fine adjustment." The Cyborg turned his attention to Meryl, causing her to jump behind Vash. "Now why don't I have the desire to kill humans anymore. or even make you suffer, brother?"  
"Er. the doc programmed you not to.?"  
"WHAT?! What else did you get him to program me not to do? I know it was all you!!"  
"I'm sorry! And I got nothing else programmed!!! I swear!" Vash whined. "But I'll just warn you."  
"On what?"  
"If you make an attempt or even think about killing a human or even me, you'll automatically be deactivated."  
"Damnit," Knives grumbled as he got up out of the bed. He looked at Meryl, then narrowed his eyes. "Where's the bathroom?"  
"R-right across th-th-the hall."  
"Thank you." With that, he walked out of the room. Once he was out of sight, the insurance woman grabbed the blonde's hair, then pulled him down to her eye level.  
"Owww!"  
"Your brother SCARES me!"  
"Why? He can't kill you or anything."  
"I don't CARE!!! Vash, you can be such an idiot at times! I don't even know why we were friends and still are!" With that, the woman stomped out of the room angrily. The Humanoid Typhoon rubbed his cheek, then laughed lightly as he shook his head.  
"It's great to see you too, Meryl," he whispered gently with a smile, "Great to see you too."  
  
Knives sat across from Millie at the table in her living room wearing a pair of denim overalls (hey, could somebody draw this? .o). His hair was cut to its old style and he was now wearing shades that were similar to Vash's but had red lenses (Draw this too!).  
"Miss Millie."  
"Yes, Mister Knives?"  
"Could you get me a glass of water?" He leaned back in his chair, then put his feet on the table. "My throat's rather dry."  
"No problem!" The brunette quickly got up, then left for the kitchen. Knives groaned slightly when Meryl came into the room.  
"What do you want, woman?"  
"I want you to take your feet off the table and do some work around the house!"  
"And why must I? I don't live here."  
"Why must you?! You don't LIVE here?! This is the only place you've GOT!! You and your stupid brother have been here for two weeks, but you refuse to do a simple thing as vacuuming!"  
"I'll do something when I feel like it," the blonde replied carelessly, "Besides, my body's still trying to adjust to the metal parts."  
Meryl groaned angrily, then turned around and left. Knives closed his right eye, held up his left hand, and then shaped his fingers like a gun as he smirked.  
"Bang," he whispered, chuckling lowly, "I'll get you, Miss Stryfe. just you wait and see."  
Vash sat in his room staring in the mirror at his face and bare chest. He sighed, then fell back onto his bed, kicking his boots off.  
"I need a haircut. I need to shave. I need some new bandages. I need a new arm." He groaned loudly, then turned onto his belly, closing his eyes. "I'm 131 years old-no wife or kids. And hey, I look good for my age too! I guess I'm just waiting for the right woman."  
Vash rolled onto his back, shaped the fingers on his right hand like a gun, then aimed at the ceiling. "Jessica? Nah. too young. Leena? Nope, too much like a sister. Marianne? She probably thinks I'm dead. How about Millie?" He thought for a while, then shook his head, pretending to shoot the ceiling before dropping his hand.  
"Maybe Meryl? Wait a minute. what the hell am I saying?! She's too damn bitchy to be with!!" A goof grin spread across his face as he started laughing. "The perfect type for Knives too." He continued laughing until his brother stepped into the room.  
"Who'd be the 'perfect type' for me, brother?" Vash sat up, then laughed nervously as he scratched his cheek.  
"Er. don't worry, it's, heh heh, no one!" Knives grabbed Vash by his shirt, then pulled him towards him. "Tell me who, damnit!"  
"Meryl!" the Humanoid Typhoon squeaked, trying to get out of his grasp. The twin dropped his counterpart, then smirked as he folded his arms.  
"Yes, yes. I do kind of have my eyes set on that crazy woman. but what about her friend?"  
"Who? Millie?"  
"Yeah."  
"Nah, I wouldn't think so. I mean, she is more into a Wolfwood-type," Vash explained as he narrowed his eyes slightly at his twin, "They could've gotten together if it weren't for-"  
"Shut up! That's in the past now, all right? Just keep your mouth shut about that worthless Gung-Ho Gun." Knives grunted, turned around, then walked out of Vash's room. The blonde plopped down on his bed, then sighed hopelessly as he fell onto his back.  
"Rem. if any thing, please send me a woman that's like you. And help me try not to beat up my damn brother!" He pulled his hair and growled, rolling around on the bed until he fell face-flat on the floor. The plant grumbled under his breath as he sat up, then looked up when Millie came barging into his room.  
"Mister Vash, Meryl and I have to leave!"  
"Why? What's happened?"  
"There's been a crashing near Julycity! They say there was a woman in a ship from Earth!"  
"Really?!"  
"Sorry, but I really have to go! Bye, Mister Vash!" The Humanoid Typhoon stood up with a grin on his face as Millie ran out of the room, rubbing his chin.  
"Time to shave and dress your best-It's time to get yourself a woman, Vash!"  
  
Okay. I need your help now. I need a title for this chapter -.-' Anyways, please write a review with a title or just email me, thanks! Oh yeah, did I even portray Knives's character right? I mean. I haven't seen a single an eppy with Knives in it! .o Could someone please enlighten me on his behavior when he was a child and when he older? Xx; Thanks again! Another thing. is it spelled Leena or Lena? Ya know. from when Vash was Ericks. Anyways! Last but not least, thank you for reading my story and if you wish, I will start the 3rd chapter. But, I must get some feedback in order to know. Thank you and take care! ^^ 


	3. The Bumbling Bozo's Back in Action

The Bumbling Bozo's Back in Action  
  
Vash, Knives, Millie and Meryl pulled up by the crash site in Millie's new car. The four of them got out, then made their way over to the crowd of people. Everyone back away when they caught sight of Knives beside his brother, then almost panicked when Vash left his side. The Humanoid Typhoon made his way over to the group of sheriffs then placed his hands on one of their shoulders with a wide grin on his face.  
"Sooo. I hear there's a woman inside the ship, sheriff!"  
"There was, Mr. Stampede-She disappeared!" Vash's jaw dropped, then he groaned loudly, smacking his forehead.  
"If you're looking for me, I'm right here!" an angry feminine voice called out from behind. Everyone turned around to see a caramel-skinned woman holding a man in a headlock over the edge of the top of a house. She had on a black trench coat with a matching hat, a slightly shredded black mini-skirt and a red top that revealed her belly button and some of her chest.  
"Hey! Put him down!" Vash yelled as he ran towards the house. He skidded to a stop under her, trying to take a glance up her skirt. "Ooooh."  
"Why you!" The woman kicked a rock off the building, nailing the plant dead in the forehead. Vash yelped, then rubbed his forehead as he shook his fist at her. "I'm gonna make you pay for that!"  
The woman tossed her red hair out of her eyes, and then looked down at the Humanoid Typhoon with her piercing hazel eyes.  
"You pervert! I have every right to kill this man now!"  
"No no no! Why don't you just set him down gently and we just forget the whole thing and call it even?"  
"Why should I follow your rules, hm?"  
"Well. you're an awfully beautiful woman and I'm sure we could settle our differences through, say. a moonlight dinner or something of that matter?" Everyone stared at Vash in disbelief, and then anime fell. An irritation mark appeared above Knives's brow as he stomped over to his brother, grabbed his hair, and then yanked it.  
"Owww! Knives!"  
"Shut up, you little baby! Just what the hell are you doing?"  
"What's it look like I'm doing?!" The woman only shook her head, then tapped her chin as she tilted her head to the side.  
"Judging by your flirting habits. I take it you're the Humanoid Typhoon, Mister Vash the Stampede, correct?"  
"Yes m'am!"  
"Well then I must say, I've always admired you," she began as sly grin spread across her face, "However, let's see if you're as good as the people of Gunsmoke say." With that, she let go of the man, letting him fall towards the ground below. Vash cursed, swiftly took out his gun, shot down the door of the house, and then winced when the man landed on it.  
"Owww.that.hurt."  
"Sorry!" The plant quickly looked up and saw the woman getting away, her tail waving in the air. "A tail.? Oh hell! Knives, you stay here-I'm going after the woman!" Without a last thought, the Stampede ran off, causing all the townspeople and sheriffs to turn their attention to his brother. Knives slowly looked back at them as he held his arms open, a crazy smile slowly appearing on his face.  
"Hello.. Friends!"  
  
Vash ran after the woman, holding his gun tight in his grasp. Before he knew it, a bullet flew right past him and scraped his shoulder, almost nailing him in the neck.  
"Ow. she must be a pretty good gunwoman!"  
"Pretty good? I'd say more than good, Mister Stampede." The blonde aimed his gun at her leg, then pulled the trigger. To his disbelief, she moved out the way quickly, only receiving a small scratch.  
"You're just as good as me!"  
"Yes, just as good." The two continued volleying shots back and forth, them both only getting minor scratches as they dodged each other's bullets. Vash growled as he started running faster, charging towards the woman. This is getting us absolutely nowhere!! With that thought in mind, the plant jumped towards the woman, putting his gun away before he out- stretched his arms.  
"Yaaaaaaah!!!!" The woman slowly turned her head when she saw his shadow, then screamed when she saw him above her. Before she even had the chance to aim her gun or pick up speed, Vash had landed on her and had her pinned to the ground. She narrowed her eyes as she looked up at him, growling deep in her throat. Vash blinked as her hat came off, revealing her catlike ears, then grinned as he stared down at her.  
"Hey there! Would ya mind telling me your name?"  
"My name is none of your concern. Now get off of me!"  
"Oh c'mon! You said that you admire me and you know my name! Now that's just a little bit unfair."  
"Fine then. my name is Vashu."  
"Vashu? Sounds a lot like my name."  
"Yes, well, it's my lab name."  
"Lab name? What do you mean?"  
"I was an experiment. I was designed to be, well, an earthly female version of you. They were about to go deeper into the experimentation by making me look like you until I escaped."  
"Heh, well your beauty mark is in the wrong spot, anyway," Vash commented, pointing to the dark mark on her chin. He smiled, then slowly began to get up as he pulled on her arm gently. "Well then, let's get going."  
"Sorry, Vash." The Humanoid Typhoon got ready to reply until WHAM!! Her knee made contact with his "sacred spot", causing him to howl in pain as his eyes bulged out. Once he had fallen onto his side, Vashu stood up, smiled rather sympathetically, and then ran off.  
  
Knives sat on the sofa across from his brother, who was laid back in the recliner-the Insurance girls had gone off to work, leaving the brothers in the Thompson Mansion.  
"So, Vash. tell me about that woman. I couldn't get a got glimpse at her with those women in my way."  
"Well, she's very beautiful-red hair that stopped at her shoulders, soft caramel skin and hazel eyes. She even had cat ears and a tail!"  
"Interesting."  
"Also, she told me that she's an escaped experiment from earth. She's an ace gunwoman and she goes by the name of Vashu."  
"Vashu? Ace gunwoman? Does she-"  
"I don't know if it goes as far as the Angel Arms but she can shoot and dodge bullets just as well as we can! She can even dodge MY bullets!"  
"Then that would explain why her name is Vashu." Vash nodded, then turned around when Meryl and Millie came barging in.  
"We have new orders," Meryl stated seriously. Millie smiled as she turned her attention to Knives.  
"We're gonna be watching you just like we did Mister Vash!"  
"WHAT?! But I haven't done ANYTHING!!!" the platinum blonde roared, jumping up. He looked at his twin deliriously, then pulled his hair. "Why didn't I just die?!" The gold blonde snickered, then picked up the phone when it rang. "Hello, this is the Thompson Residence. Vash the Stampede speaking!"  
"I want to talk to Stryfe." the person on the other end replied flatly. The Humanoid Typhoon looked over at Meryl, then pointed to the phone, causing her to sigh. The blue-haired woman took the phone from him, put it to her ear, and then sighed yet again.  
"Hello? Oh, hi Chief. Yes, Millions Knives is here.. No, he's not acting peculiar, sir. I don't think he's much of a threat anymore. Huh? Oh, he's been turned into a Cyborg and is programmed not to kill humans or harm Vash in any kind of way. He should be programmed not to do what?" Meryl sighed lowly, then groaned slightly. "Affirmative. I'll see if Vash can arrange it."  
"What's going on?" Knives asked dryly, watching her hang up. The insurance woman shift her weight to one side, placed her hands on her hips, then frowned.  
"You're not going to destroy anything are you?"  
"Now why would I do something like that?"  
"Because you're Millions Knives and you don't act as though you've changed a bit!"  
"So? Some people can change if you give them the chance!" The woman grunted, then folded her arms as she turned away, closing her eyes.  
"This is pointless. Look, my orders are to get you programmed not to destroy anything. So I suggest you keep that in mind."  
"What.?! Now I'm like a damn puppet!" The blonde scowled, then grabbed the phone when it rang. "What do you want, bastard?"  
"Mind your manners, Mr. Knives," the chief replied in a rather annoyed tone, "Now put Stryfe on the phone."  
"No! You're gonna talk to ME!!"  
"Fine then. Notify her that the woman from the crash site near Julycity is now in Felnarl."  
"Okay, and?"  
"She's killed eight people and has destroyed a fourth of the city. Now if you're a good boy-"  
"Plant."  
"Whatever. you will tell her this and maybe I'll let you off the hook. We need to put that woman under full surveillance. It'd be nice if your brother would help."  
"Whatever." Knives hung up, then looked over at Vash. "Vashu's on the rampage, and the bastard from Bernardelli wants your help."  
  
Meryl stepped out of the car, then watched as building after building began to fall. Vash got out also, then took off his shades as he began walking towards the place where the destruction was happening. Knives only leaned back in the car seat, kicking his feet up onto the passenger seat with Millie sitting beside him. "This will prove to be interesting. a woman with our abilities and she's not even a plant."  
"I hope Mr. Vash doesn't harm the city while he's trying to catch her," Millie whispered lowly, eating some pudding. Meryl folded her arms, then grunted as she leaned against the car. "We'll see."  
The Humanoid Typhoon held up his gun, aiming at the sky above, then pulled the trigger twice, causing everything and everyone to go silent.  
"Miss Vashu, please step out of your hiding place where I can see you." The woman jumped down from a rooftop and landed infront of Vash, looking up at him.  
"What do you want now? Playing hero again?"  
"You've already killed eight people and destroyed a fourth of Felnarl city. I'd like it if you stopped where you are."  
"Or what?" Vash quickly grabbed her arm, pulled her towards him, and then drew his gun to her temples.  
"I know you're angry."  
"What do you know about me being angry? Hm? Humans don't deserve anything."  
"Humans deserve everything as much as you and I. Even though your life was ruined and humans did this to you, this is no way to take out your angry. No one has the right to take another's life. Besides," the plant whispered softly, "You're a human. No matter what alterations or modifications, you are still a human."  
"No I am not! I'm not!"  
"You were born a human. No matter the changes, you will always be a human. So please, stop where you are at once, so maybe. I can help you." He pulled his gun away and let go of her arm, slowly making his way over to Millie's car. The Humanoid Typhoon looked at the brunette, then get in the car.  
"Well, I think I did my part here without any violence."  
"But Mr. Vash," Millie began, "You didn't even pull your trigger or anything. You didn't even arrest Vashu."  
"Oh well. I'm sure what I told her got through. So, let's gooo!" With that, he shut the door before the brown-haired woman pulled off, driving back to her home. 


	4. The Unlikely Couple

Hello, readers out there. It is I, K. Mishima, your loving writer. I kinda feel as though chapter 3 sucked and I STILL can't come up with a name for Chapter 2! Sheez. Anyway, thank you for waiting (for all of you who did), and my eternal thanks to those of you who wait for the next chapter. Anyway, I did change things up a bit; Meryl doesn't love Vash, she just likes him as a friend. Sooo. I'm gonna have a Meryl and Knives coupling. Scary, ain't it? Well, don't expect it soon and once again, thank you!! Oh yeah. and since fanfiction.net doesn't do italicizing, I'll use **, mmkay? Thanks! ^^  
  
The Unlikely Couple  
  
Millie woke up when the telephone rang, and then picked it up. She yawned loudly, put it to her ear, then let you a soft sigh.  
"Millie Thompson speaking."  
"Thompson, where's Stryfe?" the chief asked loudly into the phone, fully waking her up. The brunette shook her head, and then yawned lightly.  
"She's out shopping with Mr. Vash."  
"Damn it! Well just to let you know, Vashu has escaped!"  
"Vashu?"  
"Remember the woman from the crash site?"  
"Yeah."  
"That's her name, supposedly, and she's escaped from prison! She's made her way to May City and has destroyed almost half of it! You know the drill..."  
"Yes sir! I'm on it!" With that, Millie hung up, jumped out of bed, and then ran towards the bathroom. "I have to hurry!"  
Knives sat on the couch in a pair of baggy, red sweatpants watching TV. He arched an eyebrow when Millie came running down the steps with her stun gun, a serious expression on her face. She stopped when she got to the door, and then looked at him.  
"Mr. Knives!"  
"What?"  
"I have to go-the lady from the crash site escaped from jail!"  
"Damn Vash. that idiot!"  
"You stay here and wait for Mr. Vash and Meryl to come back and tell Meryl, okay?"  
"Yeah, yeah." The brunette ran over to the plant, kissed him on the cheek, and then ran out the front door. The blonde scratched his cheek, and then just arched an eyebrow. "And I thought she was only interested in the Wolfwood type."  
  
Vash chased after Vashu, riding on a chaotic Tomas. The woman seemed to have the advantage, being that Vash couldn't get a clear shot with the creature swerving and bouncing all over the place.  
"Oh man, this is tougher than I thought!" he whined as the Tomas cried out loudly, trying to through him off. The Humanoid Typhoon groaned, seeing that he had no chance of catching up with her, and then did the worse-he jumped. "Look out beloooow!!!"  
Vashu looked up, but before she could scream, the plant had landed on top of her, causing them to roll across the dirt for a bit. When they finally stopped, Vash was on top of her and had her pinned, causing her to grin slightly.  
"Must we always meet like this, Mr. Humanoid Typhoon?"  
"Well, I think I kinda like it," he told her with a laugh, "Sooo. why aren't you being a good girl?"  
"It's never been my nature to be good."  
"You've only been here for a few days and you're already worth $$ 1 million!"  
"So does that mean you're going to turn me in?" Vash grinned, then smiled brightly as his eyes started to sparkle, glitter marks appearing around his face.  
"Oh no! I was more thinking about whisking you off your feet and treating you to a moonlight dinner." The woman rolled her eyes, and then folded her arms over her chest once Vash had let go of her arms.  
"Ya know, I dunno how you became the Humanoid Typhoon." She squealed when the plant picked her up in his arms, then tossed her onto his shoulder. "Agh! You're nothing but a big FLIRT!!!"  
  
Millie arrived in May City on her Tomas, and then rode over to the town sheriff. She blinked, and then hopped off of the creature as she looked around for the wanted woman. The sheriff looked up at her, and then scratched his head.  
"A note from Vash the Stampede, Miss Thompson!" He handed a folded sheet of paper to her, and then stood back. The woman unfolded it, and then began reading it aloud.  
"'Dear Millie and Meryl,  
Don't follow me! DONOT follow me! Don't follow Vashu! DONOT FOLLOW US!! I'll return with her in a week, more or less. I promise! Later! ^^v  
Sincerely,  
Vash P.S.  
Oh yeah, DON'T follow me, Vash the Stampede AKA Humanoid Typhoon BKA Valentinez Alkalinella Xifax Sicidabohertz Gombigobilla Blue Stravidari Talentrent Pierre Andri Charton-Haymoss Ivanovici Baldeus George Doitzel Kaiser IV, or her, Vashu!! DONOT follow us!!!'"  
The sheriff and Millie both blinked, then sweat dropped before looking at one another.  
"Are you going to follow him, Miss Thompson?"  
"Well, it's not our duty to, and we have to keep an eye on his brother! I guess Mr. Vash will be fine with her. He's a good man!"  
Knives kicked his feet up on the table as he read the letter, then handed it over to Meryl, who snatched it from him, then crumbled it into a ball.  
"I can't believe him! What the hell is he up to?!"  
"I knowing my brother, it could be anything."  
"But he's with a dangerous, murderous bounty! He's putting everyone in danger!"  
"Look, woman, you're suppose to keep your eye on me, not Vash. I'm the 'dangerous' and 'murderous' one, so forget him-If he wants a damn week, give him the damn week." The shorthaired woman growled, then threw the ball of paper at the plant, hitting him in the head. **Vash, you damned idiot!!! **  
  
Vashu sat down at the fire in the desert, letting out a bored sigh. Vash took a seat next to her, then lied down in the sand.  
"Ya know, staring at the stars and the moons relaxes me a bit. I kinda think about the good parts of my childhood. with Rem."  
"Rem?"  
"Yeah, she took great care of Knives and me. Heck, she even saved us from getting killed when the crew found us! She taught my brother and me about love, kindness. all the good points in life. It was great, until that one day."  
"That one-day.?"  
"Yeah. It was seven of us-Knives, Rem, Joey, Steve, Mary, Rowan and me. Everyone but Steve cared for Knives and me. Steve was so envious because we had such a high IQ. He'd always beat on us. and he called us monsters. I think that's probably what caused Knives to snap.  
"One day, there was a spider and a butterfly in the recreation center. The butterfly was trapped in the spider's web and I wanted to save it. However, Knives killed the spider, which made me angry. I jumped on him and started yelling at him, then quickly got off him. we were so different. Knives began hating humans then. Steve had been put into a cryo-sleep for it was said that he had raped Mary. Then, Rowan went insane and killed Mary. Rowan was about to kill Knives until Rem stepped in the way and demanded for him to give her the gun. However, Joey didn't see that much and, out of Rem's safety, opened the hatch, causing Mary's corpse and Rowan to be sucked into space..  
"Knives had gone to talk to Joey, but didn't agree with his ideals so. he killed him. My brother then changed the course to all the SEED ships so that they'd all crash into the planet, but the plant ships would survive. So, it was Rem, Knives and I, heading for the escape pods. Rem paused, pushed me into the pod, and told me to take care of my brother, then left to change the course of the ships shedding soft, warm tears. Once our pod had escaped and the SEED ships' course had been changed, the main ship blew up. killing Rem. the first woman I had ever loved in my life. She was like a sister, a mother. even a lover. She was there for Knives and me. Now all I can see her is in my dreams." Vash looked away from Vashu, letting a tear slide down his cheek. The cat woman sighed softly as she hesitated, then wrapped her arms around him as she began whispering softly to him.  
"At least you have good memories of your childhood. My parents were killed when I was three, so I was an orphan. When I was eight, a genetics doctor named Dib Kulich adopted me, however, he didn't adopt me for the wanting of a child. I was a lab subject."  
"A lab subject?! That's horrible!"  
"Oh, but that's only the beginning. Kulich and his colleagues began altering my genes and DNA so that I would have catlike abilities-this was a success, as you see. Five years afterwards, they managed to buy a report from Gunsmoke off of the black market. And do you know what that report was about?"  
"Er.no?"  
"Two plants. Two humanoid plants by the names of Millions Knives and Vash the Stampede. They read about your abilities and as much as they could about your history. They even managed to get a sample from the black market of Legato's left arm."  
"Yeah, my arm."  
"As well as Knives's hair sample. They started studying deeper into your genes, trying to figure out how they could alter mine. It only took three years before they were finished their studies and began their work on me. As time progressed, I started gaining the power to dodge bullets, amazing flexibility, outstanding speed and perfect shooting. I was a flawless weapon and soldier.  
"When I was twenty years old, being released at the age of eighteen, I was able to get married. They had finally decided to let me start my own life. or so I thought. I had twins, both boys. To my surprise, the scientist had actually arranged for my husband to meet me and marry me, as well as get me pregnant so that they could see if my altered genes would be passed onto our children. The scientists were angry-the genes didn't get passed on.  
"So they decided to try their new experiment, which was age altering. I didn't quite understand the technology, but they could make you many years younger. A senior could become a mature adult. a mature adult could become a young adult. a young adult could become a teenager, a teenager a child, a child a baby, and a baby. either a fetus or a fertilized egg. My boys were ten years old, so they were going to try to reverse the altering to make them older, then make them into fetuses so that they could insert the gene into them. However, I refused it all."  
"What'd the scientists do?"  
"I loved my sons. Even though their father was a big fraud, I loved my sons to death. They're lives wouldn't be like mine. So, I let the scientists try their experiment trials on me. I was made twenty years older. Then thirty-four years younger-That was their biggest mistake."  
"What'd you do?"  
"Being that I was younger, that caused my abilities to slightly strengthen. With that to my advantage, I killed them all. every single scientist, even my so-called 'husband'. I took the Gunsmoke files and my sons, freed all the experimented people and creatures, then destroyed the lab. I left the twins with my sister, who wanted children of her own. I was a wanted experiment and the government wanted me to be used as their war tool, so I escaped."  
"I'm sorry, Vashu. I'm very sorry." Vash sat up, then looked at her, seeing that she was starting to cry. He quickly wrapped his arms around her, then hugged her tight. "I'm here for you, don't worry. I won't leave you. I promise."  
Vashu sat up, then poked her head out of the tent she was sleeping in. She blinked, then looked to see Vash practicing drawing his gun, making sure the egg didn't hit the ground. He looked up, then groaned when he saw the egg hit the dirt. With a loud sigh, he only shook his head, put his gun away, then smiled at the woman.  
"G'morning, Miss Vashu!"  
"Morning, Vash. You're up awfully early."  
"You could say that. the rising of the suns usually wakes me up. Anyway, what are you to doing?"  
"I don't know. I don't quite know my way around here."  
"Well then, let's go to town. We need some new attire for you!"  
The two walked into a clothing store in New Oregon, then began looking around. A grin spread across Vash's face when he caught sight of a skimpy, blue, silk dress with spaghetti straps. He immediately grabbed, ran over to Vashu, then held it in front of her.  
"Lookie lookie!!" The woman rolled her eyes as she shifted her weight onto her hip, folding her arms.  
"I am NOT wearing that."  
"Please?"  
"No."  
"Just for one day?"  
"No."  
"It's sexy! C'mon!"  
"NO!!!"  
"Well. would you at least try it on? Pretty please?" The woman sighed, snatched the dress from him, and then went off to the dressing room. When she stepped out, all Vash could do was stare at her and drool- the dress was revealing every single curve of her body since it was clinging to her. The cat woman groaned, then quickly folded her arms over her chest as she started blushing.  
"Happy?"  
"Yeah, yeah! So Vashu, how about-" She covered his mouth with her hand, then held her index finger to her lips, whispering lowly.  
"Shhh! Don't call me that, you moron!" Vash blinked as he moved her hand, then scratched his cheek.  
"Then what should I call you?"  
"January. Keori January."  
"All right then, Miss Keori, how about we get some shoes for that dress?" Keori growled, whacked him over the head with her fist, and then stomped off to the dressing room.  
"No, no, no, NOOO!!! AND NOOOO!!! I'M picking the rest of my clothes, thank you very much, Mr. Humanoid Typhoon!" Vash sighed hopelessly, then plopped down on a bench in the store, rubbing his head. **Man, she's no fun.**  
Keori walked down the street in a lime green and black tank top that came above her stomach, baggy, black denim jeans, black boots and a black cloak. She had the hood of the cloak over her head, a black choker on her neck, and goggles with a lime green band hanging off her neck and black gloves on her hands.  
"You out did yourself," Vash groaned as he looked over her body, walking beside her. The cat woman just giggled, then wrapped her arms around Vash's.  
"You're so sweet!"  
"A little too sweet."  
"Hee hee. Oh!"  
"Oh?"  
"I'm hungry!"  
"Greeeaaaat! More money to spend!"  
Vash sat across from Keori, watching her eat the red spaghetti. He yawned lightly, then arched an eyebrow, watching her slurp up a noodle.  
"So. I take it your real name is Keori?" he asked, grabbing some spaghetti with his fork. The woman nodded slightly as she wrapped some of the stringy pasta around her fork.  
"Yes, my birth name. Dr. Kulich called me ExpeKulich. I wasn't expected to have a name. However, my public name was Kuli."  
"Ooooh. So no one ever called you-"  
"It's Vashu!!! Everyone get down 'cause I'm gonna shoot her!!" a man called out, pulling out a machine gun. Vash yipped when a bullet hit his fork, then grabbed Keori before pulling her with him as he jumped out the window. All of a sudden, hundreds of bandits started appearing, shooting at them both.  
"Damn! Just my luck!" Vash cried, pulling the woman onto him as he bend backwards, kicking his foot up into the air for balance, three bullets flying pass. He then twirled the woman around, then pressed his body against his, causing her to lean backwards, dodging another two bullets.  
"YOUR luck?! I'm the one they're after, remember?" Keori grabbed Vash's gun, aimed at the bar's support column, then shot it, causing it to break and the whole building to collapse. The plant growled and snatched his gun back, putting it back in its holster.  
"You're NOTHING like me! You just go and kill and destroy things without a second thought!"  
"What's your point?"  
"You're like my damn brother!" Vash quickly picked up the woman, then jumped up, a bullet flying into the building behind them. He then began running towards the nearest alley, ducking and dodging bullets, while at the same time preventing Vashu from grabbing his gun. "Don't touch it!!"  
"Oh c'mon, please?" The Humanoid Typhoon growled at her, then pulled her into the alley with him.  
"No, no, no and no! Now, c'mon!" He pulled her hand, causing her to jerk forward as they began running for a way out of the city. "Why can't I just live a peaceful LIFE?!?!"  
  
Two weeks had passed since the incident in New Oregon, leaving the gunman and woman stranded in the desert until the chaos that had spread into other cities finally calmed down. They had been chased all the way to the other side of Gunsmoke-each city they went to, Vashu was found and the town was sometimes halfway destroyed, as well as some of the townspeople being killed! In this, Keori's bounty had risen to $$5 million already, causing more to want to catch her! It seemed that returning anywhere was absolutely hopeless.  
Vash sat at the campfire with Keori leaning against him. The plant smiled slightly, then wrapped his arm around her shoulders. The cat woman looked up at him, then arched an eyebrow slightly.  
"Lemme ask you something, Mr. Vash the Stampede."  
"Er. alright."  
"You like woman, correct?" Vash blinked, then laughed sheepishly as his arm dropped from her shoulders, slipping around her waist.  
"Yes, you could say that." He rested his head on her shoulder, then closed his eyes with a smile on his face. "However, as odd as it sounds, I'm just looking for the right woman."  
"Mmhmm. so, have you ever been involved with a woman? Like. ya know, 'physical activity'?"  
"Heh heh, I don't know if I should answer that, but since it's only us here. No. I haven't."  
"You're 131 years old, maybe even older and you're NEVER gotten laid?!"  
"Well, if you're truly dedicated and trusting. you'll wait for the right person to come along." Keori arched an eyebrow as she turned around to face Vash, then tilted her head to the side.  
"You're an interesting one."  
"Weeeeellll. I'm looking for a woman like Rem, who might be able to understand my ideals, ya know?" The blonde ran a hand through the woman's hair, then smiled softly. "And it makes me wonder. did I just happen to find that woman?" Before she could question him, Vash had leaned towards her and gently pressed his lips against hers! The Humanoid Typhoon had just kissed her! The plant soon broke the kiss, then smiled at her, his cheeks turning bright red.  
"V-vash, you."  
"I know it's only been a few weeks, but I think I'm in-love with you, Miss Keori."  
"Oh, Vash." The cat woman wrapped her arms around his neck, then pressed her lips against his firmly, soon earning another kiss from the blonde. The two embraced each other as they broke the kiss, looking into each other's eyes deeply.  
"I love you, Miss Keori."  
"And I love you, Mr. Vash."  
  
Vash woke up and looked down at the sleeping woman in his arms (No, they didn't do anything physical u.u;). He smiled softly as he took his arms from around her, gently placed her on the sleeping bag, then crawled over to the tent entrance. He poked his head out and to his surprise, a sand steamer was heading in their direction!  
"Miss Keori, get up!" He quickly crawled over to her and started shaking her, trying to wake her up. However, the cat woman only groaned, said something about waffles, then turned onto her stomach. Vash sighed, rolled her onto her back, leaned against her backwards, pulled her arms over his shoulders and her legs around his waist, and then sat up. He quickly started cleaning up their campsite and repacking, holding Keori securely on his back. Within five minutes, the ace gunman had finished and was running towards the sand steamer, waving his money in the air. "Let me ON!!!" 


	5. Vash's Woman

Thank you all for waiting for Chapter 4. I was busy over the weeks and my Internet connection had been out of whack for a while. anyway, I hope the ending part wasn't too sappy and that this chapter, as well as the next will be a success! Well, chapter 6 will be up soon! Thank you all ^^v  
  
Vash's Woman  
  
Vash sat down on the sand steamer, took Keori off his back, and then gently lied her down next to him, placing her head on his lap. He looked down at the sleeping woman, and then smiled softly.  
"She sure can sleep through a lot of noise." Keori groaned softly, then opened her eyes partially, looking around the room.  
"Vash. where are we.?"  
"On a sand steamer. I'm going to see if we can get to a city near Millie's house, or at least where I know someone."  
"All right then. I think I'll. go and eat!!" The woman got up quickly, and then ran off. The plant only sighed as he smacked his forehead.  
"Her and her passion for food! My God, what a heartache!!"  
Keori sat in the bar, drinking a glass of apple juice, swinging her legs back and forth as she hummed softly. Without warning, three men came up to her-one grabbed her arms and held them back, another held a gun to her temples and the last stood in front of her with his arms folded, smirking.  
"Well, well, well. If it isn't everyone's favorite bounty, Vashu."  
"Go to hell!" She screamed when the man in front of her grabbed her hair and pulled on it, and then glared at him, growling deep in her throat.  
"I should kill you for speaking to me like that. NO woman has ever disrespected me!"  
"That's rather ridiculous. you're such a damn asshole!" The man punched her across the face, causing her to growl louder. She looked up at him, and then spat her blood in his face. The man that was holding her arms took a good look at her body, then grinned, looking at his comrade.  
"Hey Boss, how about we have some fun with her? The reward poster said we had to bring her back alive. but they didn't say we couldn't touch her."  
"Yes, you're correct, Baldric." the Boss murmured with a smirk, turning his attention to the man holding the gun. "Sam."  
"Yes, Boss?"  
"Put the gun down. we're going to have fun with this beautifully evil creature." Sam grinned, then pulled his gun away from Keori's head as the Boss trailed his finger along her face.  
"Don't touch me!"  
"Shush now. There's nothing you can do, Vashu." Baldric handed a dagger to his leader, who then started ripping Keori's shirt in two. Sam got ready to unbutton her pants until he heard a gun shot and saw a beer bottle shatter.  
"I dare you to touch her." a dark voice muttered from behind the trio. They all turned around to see a pair of aqua green eyes glaring at them all and a large, silver gun aimed at Sam. "This time, I won't miss."  
"Wh-who are you?!" Sam asked deliriously, trying to get out of the man's sight. The man walked out of the shadows as his eyes started to glow an eerie blue, still keeping his aim on the terrified man.  
"I'll answer that question. if you tell me what the hell you were about to do."  
"What the hell does it matter to you?" the Boss asked angrily, taking out his gun and aiming at the man. "Shoot him and I'll shoot you."  
"So you're challenging me." The man held up his left arm, which then turned into a gun, causing the Boss's eyes to widen. Baldric screamed, then grabbed his leader.  
"Sir, that's Vash the Stampede!"  
"Vash the WHAT?! He's still alive?"  
"Apparently. now, were you about to do something to my woman?" Vash asked in his dark tone of voice, keeping his guns aimed at both the Boss and Sam. The leader shook his head as he tried to back away, stumbling into a chair.  
"V-v-vashu is YOUR woman?"  
"Look damnit, answer my question!"  
"O-of course not!"  
"You're lying to me. I can see it in your eyes. I should kill all of you." Vash pulled the trigger of his Silver 45 Long Colt, causing Sam to scream in fear. The man saw that there was a gunshot hole in the floor, then looked up at the Humanoid Typhoon. "I spared your life again. now get the hell out of here!!"  
The men all screamed, then ran passed Vash, making sure not to bump into him. Keori looked at the man she loved, trembling. **What do I do?**  
"Vash?" she asked timidly as he slowly turned his attention to her. The glow in his eyes faded as a broad smile spread across his face.  
"Yes, Keo?"  
"Are. are you alright?"  
"Of course! I should be the one asking you that question!"  
"Well, I'm fine."  
"Good that I came just in time. Let's go get some rest." The plant picked the woman up in his arms, then headed out of the bar and to their bedroom. (No physical stuff!!!)  
Keori sat up in bed as a ray of sunlight came into the room. She yawned softly, then rubbed her neck as she looked down, seeing that Vash was asleep. The woman arched an eyebrow, seeing that he was holding his gun with his other arm securely wrapped around her waist. Keori only shook her head and smiled, shaking the plant slightly.  
"Vash, get up," she whispered softly. The blonde opened his eyes partially, then looked up at her, smiling gently.  
"Mornin', Miss Keori."  
"Hey. Sleep well."  
"Yeah." Keori placed her hand on his cheek softly, then leaned down to kiss him until-  
"WARREN CITY IS SEVEN ILES AWAY!!! PLEASE GET READY TO DISEMBARK!!" Vash smiled, then leaned up and gave her a light peck on the lips.  
"Let's get ready to go!"  
  
Once the sand steamer had met its destination at the entrance of Warren City, all the passengers began to leave the extremely large vehicle. Vash and Keori were play fighting until they caught sight of two sheriffs and five deputies watching them. After the couple had gotten off, the five deputies approached Keori, placed handcuffs on her wrists and ankles, and then lead her to the jail car. One sheriff looked at Vash, then cleared his throat slightly.  
"Hello, I'm the sheriff from Felnarl, and the fellow on my right here is the Head of all sheriffs on Gunsmoke. I believe you are Vash the Stampede?"  
"Yes, I am," the plant replied lowly, keeping his eye on the jail car.  
"Well, Mr. Humanoid Typhoon, the woman you were with is very dangerous. Thankfully, the driver of the sand steamer notified us that she was on her way here. Who knows what could have happened?"  
"Yeah. who knows.?"  
"Anyway, we're taking her to jail. The jury will decide what will happen to her. She'll either be sentenced to life in prison, executed, released or even put in a lab for testing." Vash's eyes widened as he heard this, then he growled, grabbing the sheriff of Felnarl by his collar.  
"You have no right to experiment on her! Nor kill her!"  
"Mr. Vash the Stampede." The plant sighed, then dropped the man, walking off, shaking his head. **They're not taking the woman I truly love away from me.**  
  
Knives leaned back in his chair drinking his coffee, watching his twin pace back and forth across the kitchen floor. He sighed quietly, then looked down into his coffee mug, thinking. **So he's in love with the bounty. How pathetic, yet. romantic.** The plant chuckled lowly until he saw that Vash had stopped pacing.  
"Knives."  
"What?"  
"Where are the insurance girls?"  
"They're at Bernardelli or whatever. They'll be back some time tomorrow."  
"Alright then. I need your help."  
"What? My help for what?" Vash took his Silver 45 Long Colt out of its holster, then tossed it to his brother, who caught it and arched an eyebrow.  
"We're gonna bust my woman out of jail."  
  
Keori lay on her bed in her jail cellar, staring at the ceiling in boredom. She turned her head when the steel door had unlocked and opened. Standing there was a wrinkly, old man with what looked like purple skin and white hair looking at her. He had on a pair of cracked eyeglasses and a white lab coat. Beside him was a tall, handsome man with flowing red locks and red eyes. The man in the lab coat looked at the woman, then smiled evilly as he made his way into the cellar.  
"Hello, you are Vashu, aren't you?"  
"I don't know. Doesn't the door say it?"  
"Now now, call down my sweet, little kitty cat. I'm just here to observe you and take a blood sample."  
"You are not doing either of those things! I am not a toy nor am I a puppet, you wrinkly old bastard!"  
"Oh, come on, what do I have to do-Get my son to spend the night with you? He's happy and willing!" Keori glanced at his son, then rested her head on his hand.  
"Your son is nothing more than a child. I want nothing to do with him."  
"Why you-"  
"Besides, Vash will be coming to get me soon because I'm HIS woman!"  
"Vash the Stampede? I highly doubt that! I bet you're even bluffing-I know it!" the doctor stated, clenching his fists, "Vash the Stampede isn't coming for you! NO one is! Now Jargon, stay here and have your fun with Miss Vashu."  
"Of course, father." With that, the scientist left the cellar before having the door closed tight and locked again. Jargon smirked evilly, grabbed Keori's wrists, pinned her against the wall, and then licked her neck. "Time to have my way with you."  
  
Vash stood on Knives's shoulders as he took aim of the security system with his arm gun in the tower. His twin groaned as he wobbled to the side, causing his brother to grab his hair with his right hand.  
"Ow! Let go, you baby!"  
"What if I fall?!" Vash whined, looking down at the gorge below the cliff they were on. As he stared at the sharp, pointy rocks at the bottom, he started whining louder.  
"Then you're screwed, now shoot out the monitors and cut the system's power!" The Humanoid Typhoon whimpered, aimed at the security officer's shoulder, shot it, then aimed at the monitor.  
"What if I-"  
"SHOOT THE DAMN THING ALREADY!!!!!" Vash whined, mumbled something under his breath, and then shot out all the monitors before shooting out the main source of the security system. Knives grinned, seeing that doors and windows were opening and closing as prisoners started escaping. "There we gooo."  
Vash jumped over the fence, then began running towards the prison. His eyes widened as he saw guards coming out, then screamed as they started shooting at him.  
"Knives, cover meeee!!!"  
"Woo! Time to shoot some humans!" With a maniacal laugh, the platinum blonde plant ripped a hole through the fence, then started running, shooting guards that set their aim on his twin. "I'm programmed not to kill you bastards, but that won't stop me from shooting all your asses! Aaahahahahaaaaaa!!!"  
  
Keori groaned as Jargon licked her stomach, working off her pants. She growled, then threw a punch at him, only for him to catch it.  
"You're helpless without a gun, Vashu. Absolutely hopeless, so just give in." The woman watched as her pants went flying across the room. Her eyes wandered along Jargon's body until she caught sight of his gun (no, not that gun), a grin spreading across her face. **I know what to do.**  
The man licked her lips, then pressed his lips roughly against hers, not knowing that her tail was slowly making its way towards his weapon. Jargon broke the kiss, then smirked at her.  
"Now, to have my fun."  
"Just one thing that I think you should remember for the remainder of your life, Jargon."  
"Oh? And what's that?" She hit him in the groins with her knee, snatched up his gun, tossed it into her hand, then held it in between his eyes.  
"You should never underestimate your victim." Keori got ready to pull the trigger until the door to her cellar opened and she saw a guard go flying into a wall nearby.  
"Vash, you should get mad more often! At first, I thought you were a crybaby but I think I actually like you!" a male voice called out from down the hall.  
"Knives, this isn't the time or the place!" another man whined. The cat woman smiled when she saw her blonde lover standing in the doorway.  
"Vash!!"  
"Miss Keori!" She ran over to him, then threw her arms around his neck, hugging him tight. The plant blinked, then smiled as he wrapped his arms around her waist, hugging back gently. Knives walked pass them and over to Jargon before picking the man up by his throat.  
"My sensor's tell me. you're a fucking asshole!" The Cyborg slammed him into the wall, then held his gun to his pressure point. Jargon stared at Knives in horror as his bottom lip started to tremble.  
"N-no! Please! Don't kill me!"  
"You were about to rape my brother's woman and you want me to let you go? I don't think so." Knives got ready to pull the trigger until he heard a gunshot and saw that the man was dead. He arched an eyebrow, then turned to see that Keori was holding up her gun with her eyes narrowed, smoke coming from the barrel. "I think I like this chick, Vash."  
"Knives. you pick the perfect time to tell me these things," Vash said with a sigh. Before they knew it, the alarm went off, causing the three of them to look at one another. The Cyborg punched a hole in the wall as Vash threw Keori onto his shoulder, then jumped out after his brother did. "Look out below!!" 


	6. Low Guard

I'm sooo sorry for the long wait! I kinda got delayed (punishment and whatnot.) Anyway, I'll try to get as many chapters done as I can, okay? Thank you all and please continue to read and enjoy my story. @@;  
-K. Mishima  
  
Chapter 6: Low Guard  
  
Knives sat up in bed scratching his chest as he looked around. He swung one foot out of bed, then the other before standing out and walking out of his room. The blonde ran a hand through his hair as he yawned loudly, walking down the stairs. He stopped immediately in his tracks when he heard glass break in the kitchen and the sound of a woman screaming.  
"Holy shit." Knives immediately ran into the kitchen to see that the door was now lying on the floor, the stove was on and Keori's baby blue bunny slipper lying there. "They took her!!! Damn it, this is getting anything-I'm getting tired of playing hero!!"  
  
Vash groaned softly as covered his head with his pillow, hearing banging on his closed bedroom door. He finally sat up, letting out a soft sigh before walking over to the door and opening it. Standing before him was Meryl, Millie and Knives, who were all in their pajamas, causing him to arch an eyebrow and grin.  
"Are we having a pajama party?" he asked sarcastically before looking around. "Hey, where's Keo-chan?"  
"Vash." Knives began before Meryl ever so nicely cut him off. "Keori's been kidnapped."  
"For the love of God, please no." the Humanoid Typhoon whispered loudly to himself, his eyes widening in horror, "Who the hell took her?!"  
"My, my brother. Awfully angry aren't we?" Knives chuckled before getting his throat grabbed by his twin. Vash glared into his eyes and growled lowly, narrowing his eyes.  
"This is no damn laughing matter, Knives. Now who the hell took my woman?"  
"Mighty aggressive over one, measly woman." The gold blonde got ready to punch his brother until Millie cleared her throat loudly, immediately catching everyone's attention. She rubbed her eye sleepily as she yawned, holding up a note before looking at them all.  
"This was in the yard."  
"What's it say, Millie? We haven't got all day!" Meryl stated, looking up at her partner. The brunette laughed sheepishly, then turned her attention to the note before reading it aloud:  
"'Dear Humanoid Typhoon,  
Hello, it's been a long time, hasn't it? This is Descartes and Ruth, you blonde idiot! We've decided to take your little lady back to jail for that reward money! She's not as much as you but hey--$$ 1, 000, 000, 000 can take you a long way, especially where Ruth and me are! Anyway, you're free to try and find us but we'll have the reward money by then!'" Vash let go of his brother, took the note from Millie, and then scanned over it before crumbling it into a ball.  
"Let's go. I want my girl back.NOW!"  
  
The Humanoid Typhoon drove along the sandy hills of Gunsmoke in his white, long sleeve shirt, brown pants, suspenders and boots, along with his trademark yellow shades. Meryl folded her arms over her chest, still wearing her pajamas while Millie had on a pink tank top, denim pants and pink flip-flops. Knives stood up, wearing only a pair of black denim pants, then narrowed his eyes as he looked around.  
"Hit the gas-I see a big headed man with a green Mohawk about. 10 iles away."  
"That's Descartes, alright," Meryl stated, placing her hands behind her head. Without saying a word though, Vash stomped his foot on the gas pedal, immediately applying pressure and causing the car to speed up to 80 iles per hour! Knives jerked forward, and then was suddenly forced backwards-he almost fell out of the vehicle but luckily Meryl caught him by his arm and pulled him back in.  
"Vash, couldn't you be just a little bit LESS reckless?! You're gonna get us killed if you keep driving like that!!" the shorthaired insurance woman complained, forcing Knives into a seatbelt. The Humanoid Typhoon kept his sights forward, his expression never changing, as he made no effort to speak.  
"Please don't get us killed, Mr. Vash." Millie whispered timidly. The plant sighed softly and nodded before speeding up to 85 iles.  
Descartes trailed his large fingers along the side of Keori's face, and then growled when she bit down on the fingertips. She then quickly pulled away, turning her head as she scowled.  
"Don't touch me."  
"Ha ha, you're gonna make me rich, Vashu. If you weren't worth so much, I'd keep you for myself!" He went to touch her face again until she snapped at him, narrowing her eyes.  
"I said DON'T touch me and I MEAN IT!!!!" One of the green-haired man's henchmen slapped Keori across the face with his gun, causing her to fall to the floor of the vehicle. The man chuckled as he aimed the barrel of the gun at the woman's head, looking up at Descartes.  
"'Ey Boss, the poster said dead or alive."  
"Well then Descartes, how about we just kill her without the pleasure?" a smooth voice murmured from the front of the jeep. The large man looked up as the man arose to his feet and stood up, making his way to the back-it was Loose Ruth. Descartes grinned evilly as he rubbed his chin, looking over Keori.  
"Sad that such a good-looking woman has to go to waste. but I'll leave you with the pleasure of killing her," he told Loose Ruth, who smirked as he took out his gun before aiming it at the bounty below him.  
"Alright then. Pull over." The driver nodded, and then slowed the jeep to a stop as he pulled over near a sandy hill. Ruth lifted his hat out of his eyes, and then shot at the woman, only to be amazed by the fact that she had dodged the bullet. "Well, Descartes, this seems rather impossible."  
"Nothing's impossible, Ruth. Hey you three," the large man called out, catching the attention of the driver and his two other henchmen, "Hold her down."  
"Okay, Boss." The three men immediately made their way over to Keori; one hold down her legs, another held down her upper body while the other held her head in place. The cat woman snarled, then tried thrashing about but was helpless to the strength of all three men holding her down.  
"Well then, this is good bye, isn't it, Vashu?" Descartes cackled, watching as she continued to struggle, "You should've chose pleasure!"  
"Tch. I don't see how pleasure would've made anything better." Keori muttered, looking down at the floor before whispering lowly, "Vash. where the hell are you?"  
Loose Ruth shook his head, and then held the barrel of his gun to the side of the woman's head. He slowly began to pull the trigger until a sharp pain shot through his hand, causing the weapon to fly out of his hand. "What the?"  
"Good question!!" a voice called out. Descartes, Ruth and the three henchmen looked up immediately to see a jeep heading towards them. The henchmen immediately stood to their feet, causing Keori to grin, wrap her legs around Ruth's waist, flipped back, and then head butted him once she was on his chest. Descartes got ready to yell at his men until he was struck in a face by a stunner (what the hell are the things that come out of Millie's gun called?!), causing him to fly out of the jeep and to land on his back.  
"What the hell?!" one of the henchmen called out, reaching for his gun. The other two went to go grab their guns, but all three of their hands ended up shot. The jeep that was driving towards them soon pulled over and out jumped Vash, Knives, Millie and, eventually, Meryl (she was driving, allowing for the other three to shoot). The three men looked at one another, then nodded before charging towards the four of them.  
"Humans are such foolish creatures." Knives murmured, closing his eyes. He took a step forward, and then slammed his fist into the nearest man's face, causing him to fall on his back, knocked out cold. The man behind him skid to a stop in front of Vash, who then lifted his gun out of its holster and held it to his forehead.  
"Ya know, this would've been all fun and games if you hadn't taken my girl."  
"Wh-wha? Your girl? Vashu?"  
"Well, I dunno. That's a rather dumb question!" The plant aimed his gun at the man's feet, then started shooting, causing the human to hop around, "For your insolence, you can dance for me!"  
"Now THIS is my brother, " Knives chuckled, shaking his head as he stroked his chin. Vash grunted, then hit the man upside the head with the butt of his gun before kicking him to the floor, letting out a loud sigh.  
"You only like me when I'm aggressive?" The gold blonde blinked, then pointed at one of the henchmen trying to get away. "Look! Someone get him!!"  
As soon as he had said that, there were to gunshots and the man fell to the ground. Knives, Vash and Millie blinked, then looked at Meryl, who was holding a Derringer and was blowing the smoke away from her gun. The woman blinked, and then arched an eyebrow, tilting her head to the side.  
"What.?"  
"Where are you holding those things?!" the trio asked, staring at her deliriously. Meryl folded her arms over her chest, and then closed her eyes with a sigh.  
"That's none of your concern." Knives looked over at the woman, a sly grin slowly sliding across his face.  
"I'd just looove to find out!" The blue-haired woman growled, then whacked him over the head with her fist, causing him to drop to the ground. Vash laughed, then blinked when he heard rocking from Descartes's jeep.  
"Vaaashie! I'm still kinda tied up, ya know!" Keori called out, immediately causing the plant to run over to the vehicle and pick her up. He smiled sheepishly, and then hugged her tight in his arms.  
"Sorry, Keo-Chan!" The blonde rested his head on hers as he untied the ropes before wrapping his arms tight around her waist, "I'm gonna keep my eye on you more often now. I don't want to lose you again. Not ever."  
  
@@; This chapter sucked but hey, I wanted to get it over with. Anywaaaay. I hope you enjoy the ones afterwards. ^___^; 


	7. This has NOTHING to do with Trigun But r...

Me and my Tomato  
I like Tomatoes  
Tomatoes like me  
Do tomatoes like you?  
Because they like me  
I wanna marry a tomato  
Tomato wanna marry me. I mean, a tomato wants to marry me!  
And we will have a GAZILLION OBLION kids  
And all their names will be..  
Tomato  
And hopefully  
Someone will marry my children  
But hopefully  
They won't get them confused with one another  
Because their names are.  
Tomato 


	8. Loud Nights and Singing Cyborgs Part I

Chapter Seven: Loud Nights and Singing Cyborgs  
  
Keori fell back onto her bed, and then blew her hair out of her eyes while staring at the ceiling. With a loud sigh, she rolled onto her belly and began poking the floor as her mind began to wonder.  
"I just had to go on rampage when I got here, didn't I? Now look at this mess I'm in!!"  
"You were angry, that's all it was," a voice spoke out into her room. The cat woman immediately rolled off the bed snatched her pistol from under it, then landed in a kneeling position, glaring at the being. Her eyes then widened in shock before softening, realizing that it was Vash.  
"I'm so sorry, lover!"  
"It's alright, Keo-Chan. You've been through a lot."  
"But all this trouble has put a price on my head and bounty hunters on my back!"  
"Sounds a lot like me. Well, Keo, how about you go take a bath? I'm sure that'll relax your nerves and get this whole thing off your chest!" Keori smiled, and then kissed his cheek before heading out of her room for the bathroom.  
"Vashie, you're so smart! What would I do without you?" Once she was out of sight, a sly, perverted grin spread across the plant's face as he turned his head, watching his woman leave.  
"Now I can get a peek or two of that body those bounty hunters want so much!" He rubbed his hands together, and then ran off to get some rope while laughing crazily.  
  
Vash tightened the rope around his waist, put his index finger in his mouth, and then held it up in the air.  
"Hmm. Wind favorable. Rope secure and firm around the waist. Bounty Hunters?" He took a moment to look around: "Spooks? Nope! Now it's time to get a sneak preview of my sweet, little doughnut!" With that, the blonde hopped off the building, laughing like the nut he was. Once he was a few feet pass the window of the bathroom, he hung upside-down for a bit before climbing up the rope quickly like a spider. He then yelped when he saw Keori wearing a towel, holding her pistol to his head.  
"Vash, what the hell do you think you're doing?"  
"Erm. checking for spooks and body, er, bounty hunters?"  
"Is that so?" The plant swallowed hard and nodded slowly, watching his girlfriend pace back and forth. He then almost lost his grip when she leaned towards him, waving her tail around lazily. Now the blonde was trying to make the effort of forcing the lump in his throat down as he tried to speak, his eyes drifting from Keori's to her cleavage. To her eyes. back to the cleavage. Eyes.Cleavage. Now they were just zoned in on the cleavage.  
"Vash, what are you staring at, hm?"  
"N-nothing! I, er, was. Yeah!" he replied nervously, trying to force his eyes shut.  
"It's not good to lie." The woman then pulled his face to hers and kissed him softly (Like in Spider-Man! XD). Vash returned the kiss gently as he fumbled with the rope around his waist. He broke away from the kiss, untied it, and then swung himself into the bathroom, taking Keori into his arms. The cat woman looked up at him, and then slowly began to unbutton his shirt as he made his way to the bedroom. She immediately stopped when she caught sight of the scars on his chest and abdomen, pulling her hands away, which caused Vash to stop in his tracks.  
"Keo-Chan?"  
"Those. those scars."  
"I've had them for years, along with the ones that have added on over the past year or two. However" he told her before smiling softly as he turned the doorknob to the room, "I want you to heal those scars. and mark me with your love."  
"If you insist, Vashie." Keori wrapped her arms around the plant's neck as she kissed him deeply, causing him to smile against her lips. With that, he made his way into the bedroom with her before kicking the door shut.  
  
Knives flipped through a gun magazine boredly until he heard an odd sound, causing him to place the item down. Millie, who was sitting across from him, blinked as she watched him walk around the room aimlessly while staring at the ceiling.  
"Mr. Knives?"  
"Squeaking."  
"Huh?"  
"Yes. something's squeaking."  
"What is-"  
"Shhh." He closed his eyes for a brief moment to let his enhanced hearing try and help him figure out what that sound might be coming from. He continued pacing until his eyes snapped open, causing him to stop dead in his tracks, his jaw immediately dropping. Millie tilted her head to the side and blinked as she looked at him.  
"Mr. Knives?"  
"I. Oh my God."  
"What? What is it?" A large grin spread on his face as he scratched the hairs on his chin.  
"The squeaking just happens to be. my brother's bed."  
"But he could always be twisting and turning in his sleep, Mr. Knives."  
"I wouldn't think so. I don't think there'd be moans coming from the room if he were 'twisting and turning", my dear Millie." The brunette covered her mouth as her eyes widened, causing the plant to laugh loudly.  
"Looks like Vash is no longer a mama's boy!"  
  
About an hour or two later, Meryl entered the house from work and flopped down in the recliner that was located in the living room. She arched an eyebrow, being that Knives was looking at her with a huge, cheesy grin on her face, then snatched a magazine off the coffee table before reading it.  
"What are you so happy about, hm?"  
"It's not that I'm happy, darling," he whispered softly, pulling the magazine from her and cupping her chin in his hand, "It's more along the lines of being amused."  
"Don't call me 'darling'," the woman snapped at him, jerking her head away, "And amused by what?"  
Knives closed his eyes tight, chuckling lowly, then began laughing loudly, causing Meryl to blink. The insurance girl arched an eyebrow and scowled before looking around.  
"Oh God. You killed Vash, didn't you?!?"  
"If I did, I'd be deactivated."  
"Okay, then where is he?"  
"Why, he's in his room!"  
"Okay." The woman rubbed her chin as she stared down at her feet, thinking. She immediately snapped her head up and looked at the blonde. "Where's Keori?! Did she escape again?!?"  
"No no, my dear."  
"Then where the hell is she?"  
".Vash's room!  
"But she has her own room now! Why would she-"  
"Damnit, why are humans so naïve?! Don't you get it? Vash and Keori are in the SAME room! Do you need another hint? Lemme think. they LOVE each other!"  
"You mean. they actually did it?"  
"Yes! Oh yes! And they're STILL doing it! Wait. No, never mind it's over now."  
"You pervert. And you're amused by this?"  
"Oh c'mon, this is VASH we're talking about! V-A-S-H!! My dim-witted brother is actually having sex-And before ME!!!" Meryl rolled her eyes as she stood to her feet and headed for the kitchen, pushing past Knives. The plant smirked, grabbed her arm, pulled her to him, and then pinned her against the wall. The human glared at the blonde, causing him to chuckle lightly while shaking his head.  
"Knives, damnit, let me go! I'm tired and I need to relax! I have no time to listen to your perverted complaints!"  
"Don't be so harsh, Meryl," he whispered, pulling away one hand and resting it on her thigh. "I bet you wish that was you in that bed."  
"WHAT?! Me and Vash?! Noooo!!"  
"Of course not him! I mean, that could be you and me in bed right now having a good, ol' dandy time!"  
"That's disgusting! Knives, I am NOT sexually attracted to you."  
"Ah ha! But you're STILL attracted to me, aren't you? Yes, I am quite the looker, I must admit."  
  
"Get over yourself! I didn't-"  
"Sexy, irresistible, handsome, extremely attractive. Cuddly? Yes, I think I might be cuddly."  
"Knives, I'm warning you. You'd better not-"  
"CUDDLE ME!!!" Meryl screamed, slipped out of his grasp, then began running, causing the plant to chase her. "You know you want me!"  
"I want NOTHING to do with you!!!"  
"Oh c'mon, Meryl!" The cyborg smirked, and then launched himself at her, laughing like the maniac that he was. The insurance woman screeched when he landed on top of her, getting pinned to the floor this time.  
"You bastard, you're worse than your brother and his perverted ways!"  
"Really? I'm glad you think so," Knives laughed as he lowered his face to hers, their noses almost touching, "Now. Have I earned myself a kiss?"  
"No! Get the hell off me!!"  
"Oh c'mon, please? Just ooooone little eensy, wheensy kiss?"  
"Hmph, maybe on the cheek."  
"Damnit, I can kiss my own cheek! Now I shall help myself to a kiss!" The plant laughed crazily and leaned closer to the struggling woman, about to kiss her He only managed to brush his lips lightly against hers until he felt a cold, metal barrel against his bare back-the stun gun and Millie.  
"Mr. Knives," the brunette muttered in a slightly agitated tone. The cyborg groaned, rolled off of the shorthaired woman, and then plopped down on his rump, looking at the tall woman in yellow pjs.  
"You women are impossible! Are all female humans like this?" he asked, slowly standing to his feet. Meryl sat up and glared at him with her arms folded over her chest.  
"And what if I said yes?"  
"Then I'd have to say. I like 'em feisty!" Knives laughed insanely, then ran off to his room yelling, "Feisty, baby, FEISTY!!!"  
Meryl and Millie looked at each other, then laughed nervously as they both sweat dropped.  
"Meryl, what'll we ever do with that man?"  
"He's a plant and who knows? He's such a damn perverted, crazy person. Who knows what to do?"  
  
Vash opened his eyes partially, and then yawned before blinking as he felt something warm against him. He immediately looked down to see that Keori was fast asleep in his arms. The plant almost smiled until he realized one itty, bitty fact-they were BOTH naked!  
"Did I? Did we? What's wrong with my head? Why can't I remember?" he asked himself in whisper, running a hand through his messy hair, The blonde closed his eyes for a few seconds, then could only smile and blush as he was slowly reminded of what they had done that night.  
"So. I got a 'taste' of my little doughnut. Sweet! I got laid before Knives did!" Vash laughed softly to himself, and then kissed the top of Keori's head. "I hope you enjoyed every minute of our love making, Keo- Chan." 


	9. Loud Nights and Singing Cyborgs Part II

Keori slowly opened her eyes as the sun shone its way into the bedroom. She got ready to sit up, but was forced back down onto the bed, causing her to growl lightly. The cat woman blinked a couple times to see that it was Vash lying on top of her, his head on her chest and his arms tight around her waist, then tilted her head to the side as a smile crept its way onto her face. She had done it. She had slept with the infamous Humanoid Typhoon, Mr. Vash the Stampede himself.  
"I wonder if sleeping with him may cause my bounty to go up." Vash grunted lightly, then opens his eyes a bit before looking up at Keori and smiling. He sat up, and then kissed her before rolling onto his side.  
"It should. I am a legendary man, ya know!"  
"Whatever. And how would anyone find out, hm?"  
"You can't keep how great my lovin' is a secret!" The two laughed but were soon silenced when they heard.singing coming from the bathroom. The woman's ears twitched as she listened to try and identify who it was, then gasped loudly, causing Vash to look at her.  
"I..it's."  
"Meryl? She's a good singer."  
"No!"  
"Millie? She might be a good singer. She's so cute!"  
"Nooo! It's KNIVES!!"  
"Knives?!? What the hell is he singing?"  
"I have no idea!" Keori leaned over the side of the bed, then snatched Vash's shirt off the floor before putting it on. "Let's go find out!"  
The plant nodded, climbed out of bed, picked up his boxers, and then put them on before following his lover out of the room and down the hallway. Once they were near the bathroom, they both put their ear against the door, listening to the cyborg.  
"Have you ever heard the wolf cry at the BLUE CORN MOOON!!" Vash's jaw dropped as Keori sweat dropped, causing them both to take a step back, look at one another, then stare at the door.  
"That's. Pocahontas!" the cat woman whispered in shock. Her lover smacked his forehead, and then looked over at Millie's bedroom door while growling lowly.  
"The Thompson family has ALL the Disney movies from Earth well and preserved, and Millie here has inherited the few that she liked."  
"But why would Knives watch it?"  
"To keep him. peaceful. Meryl's idea of torture."  
"So basically. poor Knives has been traumatized!"  
"I wanna be a mighty king, so enemies beware!" the cyborg began singing out of the blue. His brother smiled, then started rocking from side to side, humming the tune.  
"Hey, I like this song!"  
"But you said that-"  
"I was 'wandering' through Millie's room and it happened to catch my attention so I watched it! Such a sad movie, too-poor Mufusa!"  
"Oh, my poor, poor Vash and his simple mind."  
"OH, I JUST CAN'T WAIT TO BE KING!! YEAH, YEAH!!!" Knives sang loudly, causing Keori to groan, grab the man she loved (who was singing along with his twin), then dragged him back down the hallway and into the bedroom.  
"You need some more sleep, Vashie. I truly think you do."  
  
Meryl stepped out of her room, and then went towards the bathroom. She stopped in her tracks when Knives came waltzing out in only towel, singing.  
"Let's go fly a kite and send it SOARING!!" The insurance woman just stood there, watching him dance past her as he began singing another song. "I've got a lovely bunch of coconuts-Deedle dee dee dee! And they're all standing in a row-Bum bum bum!"  
"Millie and her videos." she groaned, heading into the bathroom before closing the door behind her, "But I must say, he sings a helluva lot better than Vash."  
  
Millie sat behind Knives, yawning, and then grabbed her hairdryer and brush. She then grabbed his special bottle of hairspray, plugged up the dryer, and then began drying his hair.  
"Miss Thompson, I highly appreciate you wanting to attend to my hair."  
"No problem, Mr. Knives," she replied with a small yawn, "I really like your hair."  
"Oh? And why's that?"  
"It's soft and since it's cut, it's REALLY fuzzy!" A sly grin spread across his face as the brunette dried his hair.  
"Is there anything else you really like about me, Miss Thompson?"  
"Well, um. I like your eyes! Yeah, they're just like Mr. Vash's!" Knives rolled his eyes, and then pouted slightly.  
"My eyes aren't anything like his."  
"Oh yeah! They aren't!"  
"No, they aren't. Now how about something else?"  
"Well, you're a great singer! And well, you're kinda cute when you're not all crazy and stuff!"  
"Really? I'm extremely flattered." He rubbed his hands together as Millie began brushing his hair. Yeah, Millie's all mine! "Miss Millie?"  
"Yes, Mr. Knives?"  
"How about I treat you to, oh, a few drinks, some pudding-"  
"As well as cake and ice cream?!" she exclaimed, pulling his hair with the brush. The cyborg groaned loudly, then yelped out in pain.  
"Yes! Yeeesss!"  
"Wow, I really, really, REALLY like you Mr. Knives!"  
"Maybe even love me?" he asked with high hopes, a sly grin still plastered on his face. Millie picked up the hairspray, and then began spraying it on his hair.  
"Love is such a strong word, Mr. Knives."  
"Oh, but Miss Thompson, I love you," the conniving cyborg purred, turning around and lunging towards her. Millie squealed, then reached for her stun gun.  
"Mr. Knives! I don't like you like THIS! I like you in a friendly way!"  
"Oh damnit!" The blonde stood up, grabbed the brush, then began brushing his hair up, "You're still hooked onto Wolfwood, aren't you?"  
"Maybe I am!" She grabbed the stun gun, and then aimed it at him. Knives groaned angrily, then slowly backed out of her room.  
"Well, you're missin' out, Millie!" She held her weapon up to his face, causing him to smile innocently. "Thanks for the hairdressing and NOW- I'm gonna go!" With that, he quickly ran out of the room. Why are humans so damn impossible?! Especially women. I see at this rate I'm NEVER gonna get laid!!  
  
Well, here's the second part. @_@; been soooooo long since I posted! I'm gonna work hard on my other stories and this one so rooooot fer meeeee! X3 


	10. Hair Cuts and Mess Ups

Chapter Eight: Mess Ups and Haircuts  
  
"Keo! Where are you, Keo?" Vash called out loudly in Meryl's house, looking for the woman. The insurance girls had left for work to get their new orders, leaving the twins and the cat woman in the house alone.  
Vash stopped in front of the guest room door, then backed away slightly. He peeked through the small crack in the door, seeing his brother and his woman talking.  
"Knives, maybe Meryl just wants to be alone."  
"No human can be alone! They have sexual desires! I have sexual desires! I want that damn woman in bed!"  
"Millions Knives, you calm the hell down! If you just want to sleep with Meryl, then don't expect my help. I'm a matchmaker, not a sex-maker..."  
"Wh-what?! B-b-but!!" The blonde grabbed her arm when she got ready to leave. "No, no! We need to keep talking!"  
"No, we don't. I'll let you figure this out on your own, since you're the one so desperate to get laid." Vash panicked when Keori was making her way to the door, and then zoomed down the hall back to their room.  
The cat woman sat in the bedroom of her and Vash, running her hand through his hair, then tilted her head to the side, pausing for a bit.  
"Keo?"  
"Vash, why exactly is your hair this long?"  
"Wha? What do you mean?"  
"Most of the old wanted posters have you with a haircut and a well- shaved face..."  
"Eh heh... you don't like it?"  
"I'm not saying that! I mean, I just wanna see what the legendary Humanoid Typhoon looked like at some point!"  
"If you insist, Keo-Chan." Vash laughed softly then ran his hand through his hair. He took Keori's hands in his, then looked at her, smiling. "I'll go get a haircut right now, if you like."  
"Only if you want to, Vashie. It's all you..."  
"Well... Knives cut his hair and I guess looking like this makes me seem like a hobo!"  
"Okie dokie... Would you like me to cut your hair?"  
"I'd love that," the gunman replied, kissing her hand. Keori smiled, kissed Vash's forehead, then grinned evilly, grabbing a lock of his hair, causing him to squeak.  
"Tell your hair bye bye, my dear! Mwuaha!"  
  
Meryl walked into her house, took off her cape, hung it up, and then headed for the kitchen. When she stepped in, she paused, seeing Knives raid through the fridge.  
"Millions Knives, what're you doing?"  
"I'm looking for your eggs..."  
"What?!"  
"EGGS! Not OVUMS! Though... I wouldn't mind sleeping with you while we're on the subject..."  
"Knives..."  
"Okay, okay! I'm going to cook breakfast for us, my God, do you mind?" The insurance woman scowled, then sat down at the table, watching the cyborg with a skeptical look.  
"You better not put anything in my food..." Knives took the eggs out of the fridge, closed the door then walked over to the counter. He looked her with a slightly arched eyebrow, and then smirked as he opened the egg carton.  
"Now why would I do such a thing, my dear Meryl?"  
"Because you'll do anything to get me in bed with you!"  
"Awww... am I that easy to figure out? Or is it just plain obvious?" Meryl growled at Knives, causing him to laugh loudly as he grabbed the skillet from the cabinet. "Must you be so feisty? Then again... that's how I like women, especially you!"  
  
Vash stared into the mirror as Keori began to cut away his long hair. He closed his eyes partially, his mind soon wandering. Rem... The Humanoid Typhoon then closed his eyes as he though 130 years back, remembering when he got his haircut, then a year ago when Lena had cut his hair. Every time I get my haircut... it's like I'm being reborn for some odd reason... Especially when women that are so close to me cut it, he thought with a slight laugh.  
"Vash, I'm finished." The gunman opened his eyes, then smiled, looking at his reflection.  
"Wow, that's pretty good... And you went by my wanted posters?"  
"Yup! Oooh!"  
"Hm? What is it?"  
"You're so cute! You look like a momma's boy!!" Vash blinked a couple times, and then laughed sheepishly as he leaned against Keori, who then began applying shaving cream to his chin. She picked up the razor beside her, and then tilted the plant angel's head back before carefully shaving away the facial hair. The gunman looked up at the cat woman, taking note of the focus and concentration on her face.  
"I feel like a little kid..."  
"How so?"  
"Because you're cutting my hair and shaving my face! I feel so dependent!" The ace gunwoman made one last swipe, wiped his chin with a towel, then smiled as she leaned over and Eskimo-kissed him.  
"You act as though I'm a total stranger... I am the woman that you love, right?"  
"Of course!"  
"Well, it's a pleasure for me to assist you in just about... everything you do!" The two kissed for a brief moment before laughing until they heard an explosion and two people scream, causing the house to rumble. The lovers blinked, arched their eyebrows, and then looked over at the door. Keori stood up straight, shook her head and rubbed her neck before looking down at Vash.  
"Smells like trouble!"  
  
Knives rolled around on the kitchen floor as Meryl smacked his head with a towel, trying to put the fire on his head out.  
"MY HAIR!!! IT'S BURNING!! PUT IT OOOUUUTTTT!!!!"  
"If you'd keep still, maybe I COULD!"  
"KEEP STILL?! MY FRIGGIN' HAIR IS ON FIRE AND YOU'RE TELLING ME TO KEEP STILL?!?!" Vash and Keori came into the kitchen to see Knives rolling on the floor and Meryl hitting him with a dishtowel.  
"PUT THE FRIGGIN' FIRE OUT!!!" Knives screamed until Meryl hit him in the face with the towel. Vash stifled his laughter as he went over to the sink, filled a used, dirty bowl with water, and then threw it (yes, both the water AND the bowl) onto his brother, putting the fire out. Meryl tossed the towel on top of the bowl on Knives's head, then looked at her kitchen counter, the stove and the walls nearby to se that they pitched- black and burnt. Keori scratched her cheek, and then tilted her head up to look at the burnt ceiling before laughing lightly.  
"Mr. Knives here called himself cooking breakfast until BOOM— there goes my kitchen! Seriously, I think you should move into your own home with this nut, Vash." The plant angel laughed nervously at that one comment as he looked over at his twin before arching an eyebrow.  
"Geez, Knives... Where did you learn how to cook?" The cyborg took the bowl off his head, then started drying his hair as he growled angrily at his brother.  
"Don't go there with me..." Knives then ran a hand through his slightly singed hair, and then to everyone's surprise, he made an almost squeaking, squealing noise. "My hair! My beautiful hair!! It's buuurned! My fabulous look has been obliterated! Now what will I do?!"  
"Eh heh heh..." Keori laughed sheepishly as a sweat drop went down the side of her face along with Vash and Meryl. The cat girl arched an eyebrow, and then pried Knives's hands off his head before lightly running her hand through his hair. "You're getting upset over this...? You can't even call it burnt! All you need is a good trim!"  
"You're only saying that to make me feel better... It's ruined! My beautiful hair is RUINED I tell you!!" the cyborg whined as he placed his arms over his head. Meryl smacked her forehead, and then walked out of the kitchen.  
"This is Millions Knives... a former mass murderer and brother of the Humanoid Typhoon... And he's here whining about his hair?!"  
"Hey! I can't maintain my reputations without the right looks you know! My hair defines me!!"  
"Uh... tell me when the pity party's over..." Vash only shook his head as he folded his arms over his chest before arching an eyebrow and looking at his brother. He rubbed his chin, and then snapped his fingers as an idea came to mind.  
"I got it!"  
"No, you're not cutting my hair, Vash... I might end up looking like you... And that's the LAST thing I want..."  
"That's so cold of you, Knives! Anyway, I was more so thinking of Keo here cutting it for you. She cut my hair—isn't it just so spleeeendid?"  
"You've just sickened me, brother... But I will take up the offer of having Keori cut my hair... I can trust her more than I can trust you." The gold-ish blonde plant angel couldn't help but to pout at his twin, watching him follow his woman upstairs.  
"Man, why is he such a meanie? I didn't even do anything to him and he's so rude to me!"  
  
Knives groaned as he watched the tips of his beautiful blonde hair go falling to the floor as Keori began brushing it after she had finished trimming it.  
"It'll grow back, right?" he asked in a rather whiny voice, watching more hair fall. The gunwoman laughed softly, and then patted his head after she had finished.  
"Oh c'mon, Knives! You are not that fragile. You're a plant angel for crying out loud—it'll grow back in a matter of days or weeks." She picked up a bottle of Knives's special hair crème (I don't know why it's special but it iiiissss...), put some on her hands, and then began massaging the stuff into his scalp. The blonde sighed softly as he slowly began to relax and leaned back against the cat girl.  
"I swear... If I got to you before Vash did, I'd probably be the happiest plant angel alive."  
"Really, Knives?"  
"Yes, really. For once in these 131 years, even though I may not act like it, I'm actually happy for my brother."  
"That's good to know!"  
"Yeah, yeah, but we have more important things to talk about..." Keori blinked as she began combing Knives hair back before placing the object down and tilting her head to the side.  
"Such as...?"  
"Meryl, of course!"  
"Oh, geez, give it a rest! You only want to sleep with her and you blew up part of her kitchen for crying out loud! Vash, you and I are gonna get kicked out soon if you keep this up."  
"Listen, listen! I don't think I just want to sleep with her... I mean, something stirs within me when I'm around her... It's not anger, hate or lust but... I like the feeling for some reason..."  
"Feeling...? Ah! Feelings!"  
"What...?"  
"Knives, for once in your life, you may be in love with a human!" The cyborg's eyes widened and he blinked a couple times—could he, a former mass murderer and psychotic plant angel actually be... in love? It was beyond his understanding, but if Vash could do it, he could do better!  
"Keori, I have a request."  
"And that is, sir?"  
"To teach me about love and how to... love. Immediately."  
  
There! Sorry about the delay peoples! I'm going to have at least one or two chapters posted a month from now on! Thank you all you patient fans... ^____^; 


	11. Ha! I uploaded something!

A Loving Note to the Readers:

Hello. I am the author of this fanfic. Obviously. XD I haven't posted a chapter in a year or two. Obviously. Um. Obviously. I have decided that I am going to rewrite all the past chapters and re-post them…Eventually. And when I re-post them… I promise you that I will have NEW…omg…like…**_NEW_** chapters up once I re-do this stuff. I shall find the right source of inspiration to make this story better than before! Cheer me on, minna-san! I am your writing slave! 333

-The Author

Boss Dumpling X3


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